Kurt Lemire’s father has recently passed away. He meets with his father’s lawyer to receive the contents of his will.
This episode features Zack Ginsberg, Joseph Landau, and Sam Burton.
Written and directed by Zack Ginsberg and Sam Burton.
Transcript
Dad Magick
Episode 1 – The Will
KURT walks down the sidewalk of a small town to meet his father’s lawyer. He opens the door to a dive bar where generic blues/rock is playing.
ALBERT:
Hey, there he is! Kurt! Kurt, my boy, come on over here.
KURT:
(sighs)
Oh man…
ALBERT:
Come, sit. Sit. I was wondering how I was gonna recognize you, but you look just like him.
KURT:
You must be, Albert… Miller?
ALBERT:
At your service! Normally I’d ask you to dial down the excitement, but, uhh, given the circumstances…
KURT:
You’re just not, um, what I was expecting, meeting my dad’s lawyer, you know?
ALBERT:
I wasn’t just your dad’s lawyer. I was also his friend.
KURT:
Is that so?
ALBERT:
Yeah, well uh, you know, we’d hang out. Just guys being dudes.
A waiter approaches.
WAITER:
Hey fellas, got your two orders of deep-fried pickles here.
ALBERT:
Oh yeah, yeah, right here. And, uh, top me up. Oh, sorry, where are my manners. Kurt, a beer?
KURT:
It’s 11 AM.
ALBERT:
And I’ve already had a full day. You know, lawyer and all. But please, pickle’s on me.
The waiter walks off.
KURT:
I’m okay. I was just hoping that we could actually get down to-
ALBERT
(interrupting)
Yeah yeah, yeah. Right down to it. Hm. Just like your dad.
KURT:
If you say so. We weren’t exactly close.
ALBERT:
Ooh, yeah, he did mention that. Well let me just take a few steps back and say, I’m terribly sorry for your loss.
KURT:
Can we just get to the will?
ALBERT:
(laughing)
Uncanny! You’re just like him!
KURT:
Please.
ALBERT:
All right. Just saying, if he were here, he’d be the first to point it out.
ALBERT rifles through a bag.
ALBERT:
Now, just a second here… Here we go! The final will of Eustace Pucker…
I can’t believe I’m reading this to his son. You know, he would’ve wanted me to do this.
KURT:
Well, he did hire you to do that.
ALBERT:
In a way. Anyway, the final will and testament of Eustace Pucker… Ready?
KURT:
(exasperated)
Yeah! I’ve been here 90 seconds and I can’t believe you’re a real person-
ALBERT:
(interrupting)
“To my only son, Kurt Lemire. We’ve always been distant. However, in my passing I hope you’re able to bridge that gap. I leave you no money, however, I do leave you my house and all of its contents. Kurt, within that house, there is a puzzle, one which I was never able to solve. A puzzle that would reveal the secrets of my life, and secrets far more grand.”
ALBERT pauses and takes a sip from his beer.
ALBERT:
Hm, he always did love puzzles.
(he continues reading the will)
“But Kurt, you must tread carefully, for if you misstep, you will face the wrath of forces BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!”
KURT:
Seriously?
ALBERT:
Sorry about that. He told me he really wanted the last line to, uh… to really sing.
KURT:
Is that everything?
ALBERT:
Actually no. He, uh, left you this. It’s his journal. These are the keys to the house. And here is a map I printed out for you, with the directions.
KURT gathers all the items from the table.
KURT:
All right, thanks for that. I’m gonna be on my way.
ALBERT:
What, already?
WAITER walks up with a beer.
WAITER:
Another Guinness for the gentleman.
ALBERT:
Oh, thank you thank you.
KURT stands and begins walking toward the door.
ALBERT:
Hey! Hey wait! Kurt! Stick around, have a beer!
KURT:
No, no, you enjoy your drink. You’ve had a long day.
ALBERT:
Come on, we’ll drive up there together! Uhh, uh-
KURT walks out of the bar, ignoring ALBERT. He walks to his car and gets in.
KURT:
(to himself)
Goddammit. I can’t believe I drove three hours for this.
KURT starts the car and drives off.